Mother Of The Groom

When we got married ( yes here we go ) we had a photographer who I think was as old as the invention itself, no video and a load of disposable cameras on the tables for guests. Let’s just say that some people used them more appropriately than others and we will leave it at that….

Fast forward to our current world where not a moment goes undocumented and I am left feeling so sorry for couples, especially for the brides out there, who cannot avoid the pressure of social media and how that must prey on them when planning the happiest day of their lives. I had a chat with the future daughter-in-law about this topic and we concluded that brides now have to decide, ‘is this a wedding, or is this an event?” Fortunately, we will be going for the former. 

Like I said the other day, your phone is listening and my regular feeds have gone from The Dodo, Below Deck highlights and how to stop overheating / overeating to singing wedding waiters, teary walks down the aisles and bridesmaids rapping to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. In short, the pressure is on to have THE PERFECT DAY. But life, as we all know, is far from perfect and as you start the rest of your lives together maybe you need to reflect that you can’t have it all and sometimes things don’t go according to plan. But boy, oh boy, the pressure.

Let’s start with the proposal. Who in their right mind ( sorry if I am offending anyone ) would invite their family to be part of their “surprise” proposal? When did this moment go from intimate and romantic to drone shots and confetti bombs? Without wanting to sound like the age I am, some things are meant for the two of you, not everything has to be captured by a third party and then shared online.

And then of course the day itself. From the minute the bride-to-be wakes up there seems to be cameras capturing her every move. Cute bridal party dance routines in hair curlers and pajamas who then magically jump into their dresses all with perfect make-up and manicures. These are typically the girls who spent their teenage years in agony in their bedrooms counting how many likes they got and not understanding why someone didn’t comment on their picture. What happened to everyone waking up a little hungover, desperate for tea and toast and then arguing who was getting in the shower next. Sigh, I am old.

I will concede that I have seen some good ideas on the TikTok, as my mum would say, room decor, arrangements etc that are all at different price points and that’s where I feel social media can enhance this process. But there is still the undercurrent that everyone who is ever getting married ever is a licensed interior designer, fashion editor, Michelin starred chef.

My last point for now is about the reel that popped into my feed of a couple being filmed walking on a beach surrounded by guests and all you could hear was the photographer yelling at someone to get out of the f8$!ing way because they were ruining the picture. This is not a magazine shoot, this is supposed to capture your loved ones in their natural state but smiling. A granny looking the wrong way, a toddler laying on the ground refusing to conform, the best man missing because he’s gone for a drink. Because that is real life and don’t we all want to be remembered for the true people we were, not a filtered, choreographed version.

Saying that I will be thinking about who will be doing my hair and make-up on the big day….of course I do want to look my best…